Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
