; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
