He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
3pm strippers are depressing
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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