I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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