RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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