I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
