I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
