Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
