I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
