I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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