weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize