No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
