I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I need moral support for this bender
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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