yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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