Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
