Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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