lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
God, I missed his penis.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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