so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Who died my cat blue again?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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