So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
