Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
