If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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