Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
