that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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