I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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