I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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