Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize