i don't like sucking hair
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
