Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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