this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
