remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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