You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize