Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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