id be glad to
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
