Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
