I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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