Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
