she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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