she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
