my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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