Where is the hickey?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
