yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
