Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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