i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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