After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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