After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
