I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
