When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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