Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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