dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
