We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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