OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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