So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the day after is always just damage control
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
