I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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