Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
