The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
