I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
