you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
