never play flip cup with pint glasses
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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