As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
