When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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