I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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