"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
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it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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