It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
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True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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